ambition

It would keep me out of school

Push me away from regular flows

Away from the Joes

Away from the group

Could not be a cooperative troop

It pushed me to the side

Intent on a more solo ride

The sacrifice of all that was dear

Made the departure clear

Time to face the odds. The great stack

Defy the fear. The panic attack 

I haven’t a choice

That relentless inner voice

Why the drive?

Why not just survive?

Why Earth? Why Sun?

Why must I run?

The current against the face

Feels like an insurmountable race

Navigate the population 

Guarding the bounds, the standard deviation

Choosing to mock the path they can’t follow

They won’t risk the pride they can’t swallow 

There are others in the chase

Void of grace 

Silver suits a false pretence 

Their morphology displaying the true malevolence 

Nipping at my tale

Will I prevail?

Further up the flow is quick

The bodies get thick

Blackened vessels of drained esteem 

Fallen short of a dream

The rot is collecting. Grey and white blight

That which came easy is now a great fight

Keep going. Just around the next bend

Things will go my way. The successful end

DEAD STOP 

Another block

Another suffering to surmount

How many now? I lost count

I push harder 

Get hit harder

Resonating smacks

My skull cracks

Everything spins 

Blood draining from my fins

What will get me over the top?

Why don’t I just stop?

Around one more bend it must be…

From high up, the enlightened can see 

Around the next bend. Past the log jam

Is just

another

dam…